A Midlife Crisis Never Sounded So Good: The Kids Left... The Review

The Kids Left, The Dog Died,
Now What?

TBG Theatre

What do you do when your kids have married off, the family pet has gone to the great big backyard in the sky? Runaway with the pool man? Maybe join a gym? Or write a musical? writing a musical is exactly what Carol Lonner did when her kids left and the dog died.
Lonner returns to NYMF this year with a musical review about twenty out of seventy-eight million baby boomers in America dealing with their coming of "middle" age in the twenty-first century. So what we have here are twenty geriatrics shuffling around recanting all of their misadventures and missed opportunities? No, they're not twenty geriatrics singing about bowel movements or false teeth - believe me I was afraid of that - but five vibrant performers in their prime of their lives. Lonner, with her recently educated view on this particular topic - she just turned thirty-nine this year, again - crafts a night of musical tenderness that both baby boomers and their children can relate to.
From the topics of grandchildren and why grandparents love and abhor them in the same breath, to the need to reconnect with another person, late in life, after the passing or leaving of a partner, every aspect of the mid life, empty nest syndrome is covered. These five actors brought to life my parents and their friends. Bravo for Ms. Lonner and the creative team of The Kids Left, The Dog Died, Now What... for creating a night of theatre that speaks to a wide range of audiences.
Now, as much as I have bashed niche theatre for its exclusivity, yet here I'm advocating it as a means of improvement for Ms. Lonner and her as is wonderful show. Maybe not niche, but a leaner casting. The men of the show is it's weak spot. They are continually being out done by their female counter parts . It's not that the men's performances are off, but that their characters are not that developed. Ms. Lonner has a personal connection to the plight of her dramatis personae, and her view on her men folk is not quite as developed. This is not a slight, but advice to make the show more solid than it already is. Had the show been a two hander about women going through their golden years, helmed by Mary Jo McConnell and Marsha Mercantan, the show could have been a lot stronger. Ms. Lonner's attuned observations about the female sect of the baby boomers could have moved the show by itself (this could just be my own personal relationship with my mother, but I think not).
When leaving the TBG Theatre Ms. Lonner sends you out warmed, with a stirring to call your mom and dad, just to say "I love you", and pester them, as much as they pester you. The Kids Left, The Dog Died... is one of those shows that sticks with you, not because its changing the face of musical theatre, but because it goes at the heart strings with a giant bow and plays you for all your worth. The funny thing is that you go along with it, enjoying each pluck from Ms. Lonner, and doing the "Casserole Roll" all the way home.

Step In, Step Out, Step Up

STEP
45th Street Theatre

Whether we like it or not a new brand of theatre choreography is making its way to the stage, and it is not holding back.
Step, one of the 34 new musicals at NYMF this year, is an amalgamation of storytelling and urban dance rhythms. What Maxine Lyle (choreographer) and the Soul Steppers have done is take a form of dance, that is becoming ever more popular in black universities across the country, and made an attempt of turning that into a two hour performance piece. Step has to two major flaws in it's conception and execution:
1.) It plays not to a general mass appeal, but to a sect of the population. The creative team has tried to make a political and social statement with this show, that fails to reach anyone but the choir. This is a problem with niche theatre, they try to educate people outside of the niche but end up educating only those inside that niche. I know that step is not a mainstream form of dance, but if your message is meant for the masses, I hate to say it, but you are forced to play to the masses. A show like Step cannot stay afloat just by niche appeal, and if the show can't stay open, then there is no message to get across.
What message is this show trying to get across?
I found myself asking the same question. For a moment it seemed like a sermon about the oppression of blacks, then it sounded like an education on the ways of stepping, then on to the origins of the style, then to why people step in general. I'm still not sure, sitting here thinking back on it, not that it matters, really, the meaning and message lies in the audiences perception, and that can vary. But, to me, coming out of that theatre I wasn't really quite sure what the was trying to say to me in particular.
2.) Step is slightly self indulgent. This ties into the niche problems that the show is having. Mixing group routines with solo performances, there was rarely any, with the exception of one or two pieces, that stood apart from each other. What I'm saying is that a step routine, while fun and exciting for five minutes, doesn't necessarily translate well into an hour and a half production, even when there is spoken dialogue and a few songs thrown in for good measure. Step doesn't come off as a dance form that is vast in it's movements, so by minute forty five it seemed as though we were watching the same routine again and again.
I'd also like to comment on the fact that a show that is dance oriented does not constitute a musical. Step falls into a category with Contact. While contact is a cohesive unit, that pulls the audience along through dialogue and a through plot line, it is not what I would consider a musical, same goes for Step.
Back to my first statement, the dance form of step, as well as hip-hop and other urban dance, is a groundbreaking form of choreography, that is showing up on the Great White Way, even as I type this. Modern dance and it's influence can be seen in Legally Blonde for instance. Like I said before, this is happening whether we like it or not, and its not such a bad thing either. With every generation there come a new breed of dance and a new style. What Step has done is bring another type of dance onto the musical stage. Where this show has failed others can build upon. While Step is in itself not a show of note, what it tried to do for the art of dance is commendable.

Like Love: When the Muses Arrow Misses the Mark

Like Love
TBG Theatre

What happens when you take three Broadway stars, put them in a black box, and give them a pianist? Like Love, is what happens. And ladies and gentlemen of the theatre, it's not always the best results.
Barry Jay Kaplan (Book and Lyrics) and Lewis Finn (Music) took the idea of "fuck buddies" and what would happen if they were to fall in love with each other and wrote a show about. In the vein of The Last Five Years the duo have crafted a show that is wondrous to listen to, yet tricky to stage and to watch. They have delivered to NYMF a show, who's score is beautiful, lyrics poignant and touching, yet who's book is nil and what little there is, is confusing.
You would think casting Broadway and Sondheim veteran Danielle Ferland as the cupidesque character of love (she morphs form scene to scene, male to female, bartender to girl confidant, with not a lot of grace a penash) would give the show a little something extra, but sadly it leads the audience to edge of their seats waiting for "Little Red" to ask for her glasses. Ferland's characterization of love, decked out in red - did anyone think about the colors before they dressed her - is weak, and she relies on her "star" power to get her through the show. Ms Ferland is awkward, not knowing how or what do to with herself as she goes through the motions of matchmaker. This could be poor direction, but one would think that an actress like Ms Ferland, who has worked with the likes of James Lapine, could make anything work, even lack of guidance.
The true surprises of the night were High Fidelity stars Emily Swallow and Jon Patrick Walker. Seeing the billing for the show, one would assume that Ms Ferland would refuse to be upstage and out shined by her newbie co stars, but she lets herself not just be upstage, but out performed and run down by these new faces.
Ms Swallow finds a way to open herself like a fresh wound, and let the audience into her secret world. She has a better grasp on the music, it's meanings and undertones, than her fellow cast mates, as well as being more believable in her role than the rest. Her voice is a pleasant sound that made the evening seem to fly by - there should be more song birds like this in the theatre, who understand the power of understating something as opposed to belt everything to the rafters.
Jon Patrick Walker, while not a bad performer, pales in comparison to Ms Swallow. Walker's performance is not so much sublime, but still endearing. He has the soft voice of a tenor, and there were moments when he was playing the music for all it was worth that you wanted to say, "Hey, lady, what are you waiting for go get him he loves you, and if you won't I will!"
I will praise all three of these actors for making a show go without the proper dialogue to move it along. Like Love's faults are not in it's music, but in the script that we do not ever really have. There are moments where I thought that Mr Kaplan would pull out a real flushed out story, but he only left me hanging dry. As a team, though, musically, that it is, Kaplan and Flinn are almost unstoppable. The tunes they have constructed are emotional and raw, giving the actors the meat for the bare bones of the script. If this team were to put together a cast album, I'm almost positive it would sell, becoming a cult hit, much like their predecessor in the field of the small cast love musical The Last Five Years.
Like Love is a fine musical, if work shopped or done as a reading, but as a full scale production it is like a souffle that just couldn't make it to the top, and is sitting at the bottom of the pan, limp, because some forgot to put in the flour.

The Little Egypt-ian Musical That Couldn't and the Straight Plan That Can

Little Egypt
The Acorn Theatre

NYMF is a musical theatre festival, correct?
So what is a straight play doing in the festival?
It's not so much a straight play as it is a straight play with music in it. What show am I talking about, I know you're asking yourself. The show is Little Egypt, playing at the Acorn Theatre at Theatre Row.
Little Egypt is the point in the American Midwest where three rivers come together - much like the real Egypt, funny, right - and is the setting for the musical. The show follows the lives of three women, a returning college grad, and her mother and sister, as the come to terms with themselves and each other. So what we have here is a dining room drama, only thing is, there are toe tapping, lyrically slapstick musical comedy songs intermixed. The show is populated by some wonderfully talented people, the book was written by the wonderfully talented Lynn Siefert, the music by the talented Gregg Lee Henry, but for some reason it doesn't work.
First of all the music seems forced. The songs don't come out of the situations surrounding them, they come out of a need to make this a musical, or at least that's what I was getting. The songs slow down the momentum of the show, while by themselves they are truly funny and heart warming, but in the context of the "book" musical they are completely out of place. It's almost as if Ms Seifert called on Mr Henry, so that they could throw something together to get this bad boy on it's feet at the New York Musical Theatre Festival. And, kiddo, it hurt them, as was seen by the vastly empty house, as well as the three or four people that left at intermission. Here's my theatre on the reasoning behind these sudden departures.
The show was going along smoothly, then in comes a musical number, okay, it was alright, maybe they get better. More great story follows, then we are retched, as if by Brecht or Veil, out of the reality of the show and into unreality of a musical number by an out of work pariah in an Illinois shopping mall spouting that "Nobody's Immune". Hold the phone, what happened to the development of the story and these slightly off beat characters. This modus operandi continues on through the act, and we are left at intermission with a very abrupt ballad, pretty, but forcibly odd.
Come back from intermission into act two, minus the four people I saw leaving, and the same system is in affect. What the show needs, and what could have kept those people on their seats, was a lot less singing and dancing, and more script. I know I keep repeating myself, but it bares it, I believe.
Let's take a look at the actors. A cast of characters as uncouth and quirky as the ones assembled by Ms Siefert, need no help coming to life, but when you take a group of talented personalities and give them this script, character drawn hilarity ensues. From foible to foible we follow the lives of Celeste, odd ball college grad, Faye, her drunken sexed up mother, and Bernadette, her searching for Mr Right through a lot of Mr Wrongs sister. The thing is we care about these women, we want them to come out on top, until the start in with the singing and dancing, and all of a sudden the walls of reality come down around us.
It is a tricky thing to mix the music and the book, and sometimes the story lends itself to that way of presentation, but Little Egypt, pulls and bucks like a newly leashed trained dog. It fights the congruence of the two art forms, and the best thing that can be done for it, is to let one go. My advice let the music go, stick with what really works.
But bravo to the creative team for bringing this slice of mid west life to the New York stage, and for sticking with it.

Love Kills, the Anti Book Musical? Not Hardly.

Love Kills
The 45th Street Theatre

Brooklyn based, Obie award winning, writer, Kyle Jarrow, comes to NYMF this year with a story about love, and murder. In Love Kills, Jarrow charts a map of two teenagers hearts through their murderous spree through Kansas in 1958. The scandalous, true life, killing spree was the basis for the Oliver Stone Movie Natural Born Killers, and Jarrow saw it as a means to bring the first ever "emo rock musical" to the stage.

Spinning this tale around the night that Charlie Starkweather (Eli Schneider) and Caril Anne Fugate (Marisa Rhodes) were brought into custody by Sheriff Meril Karnopp (John Hickok), allows Jarrow to explore the differences in teenage love and it's counterpart, mature love.
Bringing this show to life with the popular sound of emo (emotional) rock, was a bold choice for the Obie winner, but one that helps to feed the shows deeply emotional under current. When you're talking about angsty teenage love, emo seems the best way to go about it - if you are writing a show that you want a strictly younger audience to relate to. But, the question is this: Jarrow said in an interview that the traditional "book musical" were awkward and that, as a "taste thing" he didn't like them. The funny thing is, what Jarrow has created is a the traditional "book musical" with a slight twist, the music is anything but traditional.
If Jarrows aim was to create a musical that is counter to that of the traditional sect, then he failed, largely because all of the songs come from the plot, serving the same purpose as traditional musical theatre songs, bringing the character's feelings out in a way that couldn't be done with dialogue.
Don't get me wrong the show is wonderfully crafted, the plot linear, flashing back periodically to illustrate the evolution, not of the crimes, but of the characters. Jarrow has brings to life, and makes the audience feel for them, characters that are human, fully three dimensional. Whether the performances of said characters is three dimensional is up for debate. Schneider does a wonderful job, both with his singing and acting, of realize the troubled teen, Charlie. True, Schneider, has had the role for quite some time - he debuted the show in Boston - and should been more than comfortable in the characters shoes. Ms. Rhodes, despite her beautiful singing voice, leaves you wanted more form her character. It seems as if she is trying too hard to make us believe that she is a young teen, instead of believing that she herself is a young teen. It's like the rule of comedy, if you try to be funny you want be.
The one fault that arises from doing a strictly "emo rock musical" is that veterans of the traditional ilk, look awkward and most of the time sound awkward singing these songs. Hickok and his co star Deirdre O'Connell (Gertrude Karnopp), approach the music with an old school attitude, though they gallantly try to look comfortable in these new types of songs, and the look of the performance is skewed. The younger actors can lend their voices to this style of music, getting guttural and raspy, but it is much more difficult for the older sect, which brings the problem of the "emo rock musical" up. How do you do it without alienating the rest of the world and cast?
I think that Love Kills is another sign of the changing times. Theatre is belonging more and more to the youth of America, and the old ways are slowly fading into the sunset. It's nice to know though, that no matter how hard the new sect fights the old way, it still prevails, and the "book musical" will always be at the base of any great show.

Best of Fest Week Ever! (part one)

A week ago today, the fourth annual New York Musical Theatre Festival official began, premiering 34 new shows this year, and marking the 100th show to be presented by the fledgling - but not so fledgling - theatre festival. That's a pretty impressive accomplishment.
Let's take this moment to give Kris Stewart a round of applause.
Thank you. (Oh, by the by, Kris, just so you know, it was John R DeLamar jr, that gave you that little bit of ballyhoo. Just so you don't forget, that's John R DeLamar jr.
Shameless plug over, moving on.)
As the festival hit it's first week mark for this year, I thought I would still a little from my favorite VH1 show, and present my best week ever - NYMF stlye. So, kiddo, here we go, and as Bette Davis said once... Hell, y'all know what she said, and if you don't shame on you!
The Festival started this year with a bang, as it reached it's centennial - image that. A festival that is only four years old, and already hitting triple digits. We will from now on refer to them as festival years - with the show Angle of the Sun. From what I hear the show is nice, that's all I have to report on it - I haven't seen it so who knows - if anyone has anything else let me know, but all I've gotten is just nice. Well, good for you Angle of the Sun, you nice bunch of people you.
Opening on September 17, as well - and coming in at number 101, not as amazing as 100, but hey who's counting (other than me) - was Boy in the Bathroom. Yet again, sorry, another one I haven't seen, and I haven't heard anything about it either way so far, so that's good, I guess.
Monday's main dish though was the opening night party - I was actually there for this one, except when I went to go get pizza. This year NYMF opened it's doors to the general theatre public, with an event sponsored by Johnny Love Vodka. Johnny Love was nice enough to even give away free press on tattoos, problem is: I still have mine on the inside of my wrist, thanks to my loving boyfriend. So, Johnny Love, any tips on how to get the shit off? If so, just drop me a line, thanks. A couple of cocktails, and we're heading to the pizza bar next door, then back to the party, as it cleared out - all the free booze was gone, and so were the revelers, and alas being the social conscious - cheap bastard that I am - party goer that I am, migrated with the rest of the herd home.
A brief run down of the shows that opened this week: Angle of the Sun, Boy in the Bathroom, Unlock'd, Austentatious, Love Kills - see my review-, Gemini, Tully (In No Particular Order) - heard this one was real good, kiddo, check it out -, The Brain From Planet X, The Good Fight, Like Love - see my review -, Roller Derby, Virtuosa, Die Hard: The Puppet Musical, Suddenly Summer, Intervention, The Piper - see my review -, The Rockae, and Top of the Heap.
This week I saw three shows (in case anyone cares): The Piper, Like Love, and Love Kills.
The Piper, a Celtic romp through the death list of illicit women of Boston. This one is a keeper, a nice show, on a dreary day in September, and where better to see a show all about debaucheries than in a church - who decides these things, because, friends, they are A plus in my book. For more on this show see my review: "God Bless the Broken Road... That Led me Straight to The Piper."
Like Love, is a show full of Broadway veterans, good music and not a whole more. I can't help but wonder how do you go from Stephen Sondheim to a black box in a theatre festival? Hmmm... Not to slight anyone in the cast, let me tell you, they are some fierce talents - as awkward as some moments are - but one has to wonder what's it all for, when the story misses the mark. At least it's got some good songs. For more on this show see my review: "Like Love: When the Muse's Arrow Misses".
Love Kills, all I have to say about this one is NUDITY! The show deserves the best week ever award for putting two hotties on stage in nothing but their birthday suits. Yes, my friends, sex sells, and I've already laid my twenty bucks down to see it again. For more on this show see my review: "Love Kills, the Anti Book Musical? Think Not."
Stop judging me, about the nude thing, really. Check out the head shots. I mean wow wow wow wow!
Drum roll please...
BRRRRRRRRRR... (shut up, I can hear the laughter over in Brooklyn)
The Best/Worst Week Ever (for this week anyway!)
Worst Week: Austentaious. Okay, seeing as though I haven't seen the show - I've hear, oh, have I heard - I shouldn't be judging - me of all people, really - but why? Stephanie D'Abruzzo has so much talent, and really how many different versions of Noises Off do we need to see? If we all stop laughing at the original will the copycats stop popping up? Sheeesh! Is her family locked in a basement somewhere, if so let them out!
Best Week: Kris Stewart - Am I getting a little too kiss assy? Sorry.
Best (for real) Week: Marcus Hummon and the cast of The Piper. This show could transfer - after a few rewrites and subtle changes - across town to the Great White way. Hoorah for giving the people something classic, but with something new to offer. Great big chorus numbers, Thrills, Love, Horror, this is what it means to make musical theatre.
If you hate, you hate. If you love me, you love me. Either way there is my Best of the Fest Week Ever (part one). Let me know what you think, either way - just be nice, please, I'm sensitive. Here's hoping you have the best week ever, kiddo. See you at the festival.

"God bless the broken road..." that lead me straight to The Piper

The Piper
Theater at St. Clements

A quiet, pleasant surprise held sway over me as I left the Theater at St. Clements, Friday afternoon. The surprise you ask? The newest offering from music industry and festival favorite, Marcus Hummon - who had a success last year at NYMF with The Warrior as well as a Grammy for his Rascal Flatts' "Bless the Broken Road". There are no Pop songs found here, yet the show is reminescent of the sort of catchy, emotional melodies Hummon is known for.
Set in turn of the century, Boston, in the midst of a fevered search for a prostitute strangling madman, Jordan - a former prostitute, turned inn keeper - takes on a new boarder, who she thinks might be the serial killer.
Yeah, sounds dark right? And, yes, it is dark, but like all really great dark musicals, there is some small light that shines through, pulling you through to the story's conclusion. A spark that makes you feel for the heroine and her lame daughter, plagued by discrimination and poverty.
The Piper, with Hummon crafting not only the songs, but the book as well, seems right for the picking by any good producer. It is the first show of the festival that I have seen, that I feel can transfer to Broadway, not just Off Broadway. This musical is best suited for a large scale production that only Broadway could offer, what with it's enormous scenic span, and chorus heavy music. That's another thing, this show, like so many other dark or heavy musicals, goes back to what makes musical theatre so chilling: the large chorus.
Hummon has built his show around the vagabonds and high society of the Boston Irish, lending the music to be grandly scored for an exquisite chorus. The opening number "A New Jerusalem" actually gave me the feeling that I have missed so much, on the the musical theatre stage, goose pimples, and tears poking the sides of my eyes. This, kiddo, is what musical theatre is all about. Hearing human voices mingling together in such a way as the ones on display at the St. Clements, is awe inspiring.
Kudos to director, Michael Bush, for skillfully navigating the waters of this grand story. Focusing more on the characters and their interaction with each other, and the story proper, Bush has scaled down everything else - very similar to Harold Prince's direction of Sweeney Todd, which this show puts me in the mind set of. Bush has taken the cast under wing, using his years of experience with the Manhattan Theatre Club, and ushered them through surely arduous stand out roles, and into a cohesive unit. That is the main thing that is to be admired of Bush: the creation of an ensemble piece, out of a show that could have been a star vehicle.
It's the Cast's ability to meld into each other that makes talk of individuals difficult. There is no stand out performance - not that it's a bad thing. The company feeds from each other, like good actors, and drawing that energy from each other puts everyone on the same level and page. Although, I would like to mention Christiane Noll's performance as Jordan, the story's heroine. Ms. Noll, while slipping out of her thick Irish dialect, still commands the stage. Her head strong, archetypal as it may be, Irish immigrant, is believable and doesn't seem to be forced, as many performances of immigrants can seem. Ms. Noll has grasped the underlying theme of this character, she has recognized her motives for their universality, and plays it to the nines along the audiences heartstrings.
As wonderful a surprise as The Piper was, it was abrupt in it's second act. The second act is always the hardest, and always the most in need of work, The Piper is no different. After the build up before intermission, the audience is denied the ending they want, they are rushed through veiled conclusions that don't seem to make much sense, but are covered by one of the show's more beautiful songs, "Pay the Piper", so we buy it. But, I find myself asking Mr. Hummon: Why does the show end with such pain and such beauty, musically, and so ambiguously by the book?
With it's one true fault aside, The Piper, should be on the list of the best of fest - in the top ten, at least. I wouldn't be surprised to see Mr. Hummon's work on the Great White Way in a few years. Hummon has taken the basic potato - if you'll excuse the Irish pun, here - salted, diced, covered it with cheese, and garnished it with some of the most beautiful greenery, and what we get is one hell of a meal. Thank you NYMF and Marcus Hummon for the feast that is The Piper.

Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Theatre and Other Theatre Rules to Live By

Preface: This Blog is part of an educational series that I'm providing free of charge to all theatre goers in need of it. If you feel you are well versed in the above mentioned topic, then skip this blog (I'm sorry I got you all excited and brought you here, but at least I stopped you before you went any further, and ended up hating me). If on the other hand you are not well versed, or just minimally versed then read on. Thank You and have a great day....

Seeing as though the modern day theatre is belonging more and more to the general public, and the consumate theatre goer - the ones who know all the rules and adhere to them vehemently - are being outnumbered, I feel a lesson in the rules of engagement is needed. I only say this because in the last three shows I attended there was a frightening lack of etiquette. It could have to do with the people coming to see the production or just that the production itself lent to that kind of environment, who knows really. (And no I will not disclose the shows names of the shows - thecolorpurplehairbroadwayonbroadwayrent - what kind of a person do you think I am.) The thing is, the majority of audiences coming to the theatre now have never really been in a Broadway house, let alone, I think, been into a live performance. With the opening of NYMF, I wanted to put this lesson together, in the hopes that audiences would be well rounded, and those who needed it, attuned to the workings of live performance, when going to the NYMF shows.
So, Kiddo, here we go. Class is now in session.
LESSON ONE: Curtain is at 8, Where Were You?
The most basic idea is being prompt. Would you be late to your Grandmother's 95 birthday party? No (because Grandma wouldn't put up with it), so why be late to the theatre? It's easy enough to schedule a time to leave to get somewhere. Be early if you have to, that's fine, there are a lot of great cafes and souvenir shops around Broadway theatres to entertain you while you wait. If by chance the trains are running a little late or if there is traffic holding you up, be prepared to be sat late, and let's all just be okay with that. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people three rows behind me complaining (bitching and moaning, as my mother would say) about having to wait to be seated. Slink into the theatre, people, the production is on stage not row A of the orchestra.
LESSON TWO: Ms.LuPone You Have a Call in the Mezzanine.
In this wonderfully technological age we live, everyone is accesible at all times and in all places. This is wonderful if say you are in a car crash, lost in a strange city, or caught in an avalanche, but really is it absolutely vital that you be reached during "Wheels of a Dream"? I thought not. Not only is the thumping bass of your favorite pop song counter to the events happening on stage, but it's just plain annoying! Your life can go on hold for two hours (unless your a doctor on call, and if your on call, what the hell are you doing at the theatre?!), your friends will understand believe me, and you will be happier for just letting go of the outside and enjoying what you paid a hundred dollars for.
LESSON THREE: "You Shaw is ugly!", "You Shaw is Ugly!"
With the popular musical comes the popular song and musical. When a show is doing well many of the people seeing it are seeing it for the umpteenth time, and they know the show pretty well. Well, bully for you! The rest of the audience did not pay to hear you sing or spout lines (for a hundred dollars a pop, your line delivery should be tony worthy, but I highly doubt that it will be), so for the good of all people bit your tongue. I know it's hard not to sing along with your favorite showtune, but resign yourself to tapping your feet, and if you need to sing head down to Marie's Crisis and sing along with Mr. Jim Allen (I love it, but they also paid me for the plug -just kidding - maybe). Or, here's another option, bring a friend along, and squeeze their hand before you open your mouth, they'll stop you from being bitten by the singing bug.
LESSON FOUR: Yes, that's Laura Bell Bundy in the Wings, But, Wow, People are Onstage!
Being star struck is an admirable thing. Seeing Broadway performers become stars is wonderful, an accomplishment they deserve. The thing is, waiting with baited breath for your favorite star, AND pointing them out, waiting in the wings, not a good thing to do. The joy of theatre is seeing you favorite performer live, but the best part of that event is seeing them take the stage, and being totally surprised and giving them that recognition when it's time. Also, factor rude into the equation.
RECESS:
I'd like to take a moment to say that all of these lessons are based around the fact that every topic they touch on is rude to the people around you. When going to live performance, or anything outside of your house, is that you are affecting other people. You are not in a secluded bubble when seeing a performance, remember that.
You are not in a secluded bubble. (Sorry, it bares repeating)
One more time? Good, you got it.
LESSON FIVE: There's Singing, but that Doesn't Make it a Concert
At the conclusion of any show, I think, it's imperative to show your appreciation for the performers on stage. Stand up, guys, give 'em a hand, give a little whoop, but refrain from becoming a raving, insane, star struck crazy. We all get a little star struck, but let's try to act like the civilized people we are (especially since we are talking about a civilized art form - if not refined, as it used to be). Waving and throwing yourselves on the stage at a performers feet, isn't really the bets idea, they are amazing talents, but not worshipfully so. I understand being excited about seeing a certain performer, but let's not freak them out as they come out to thank you for coming. This maybe petty, but from what I have seen over the last few months it needs to be said.
LESSON SIX: This Production has Been Rated DBK: Don't Bring the Kids
Broadway is not under a rating program (a wonderful breath of fresh air) which allows the for more freedom for both the performers and the audience. That being said, be advised before you trek the family to see a show. It boggles my mind to see people ranging from twelve to sixteen in the Nederlander Theatre watching Rent (my mother would have plotz, had I said at twelve let's go see this show, and when we got there it was all about AIDS, sex, Bohemia, squatting, and jobless artists. I mean plotz!), but they come, in droves. There are certain shows that I think children should see, that they should be welcomed to, and then there are those shows that I want to take my Playbill and wallup the parents of these kids. Be considerate of the patrons around you. Just because your kids like the music, doesn't mean they will be able to sit for three hours, quietly, and enjoy what's happening around them.
THE WRAP UP: It's Time for Your After School Snack... Almost
Think, kiddo, think before you go to the theatre. Hell, think while you're at the theatre. Remember what we learned in school (for those of us who didn't study theatre, remember what I've said here). Theatre is one of the last great dying, sacred art forms, let's keep it that way. Not every show is for everybody, but respect is the key to it. When people bust their tushies for you, give them the respect they deserve, they are there for you, but you also are there for them, as everyone else in the audience.
Here are the cookies and milk I promised, they might have a bite, but after a hard day at school, it's what you deserve, and it's my way of saying I still love you, just sometimes love is hard. Until next time, kiddo, play cool and remember never yell fire in a crowded theatre.

Oh, No They Didn't: Theatre of the Scandalous

Fifty plus years ago we had Cole Porter putting lyrics like "If young bares you like, or me undressed you like", in the mouth of stars like Ethel Merman. Theatre was full of sex and debauchery, it was veiled, hidden, by clever lyrics, innuendo, and clever staging. Let's fast forward to the summer of love, when the limits of theatre were breached by a tribal love rock musical called Hair. traditional Broadway was under attack by the outside hippie generation, and the days of insinuating were through, there in front of thousands of people were (allow me to be blatant) tits and ass. Needless to say it set a new president for what would be permitted and accepted by the American public.

In the tradition of Hair, shows nowadays (many tastefully done, some no so much) try to sell the scandal of theatre, not the art. I'm not saying that nudity in theatre is cheap or tawdry - I'll be the first in line when the marquee says FULL FRONTAL! - I'm merely saying it's not so much a shock anymore, and that shows are looking for other ways to shock. I know you're wondering about now, what the hell does this have to do with NYMF, and I'm getting there, I promise, you just have to sit back and ride with me down this slippery slope. Are you willing?
Okay, let's begin.
It started with Hair, the short running nonlinear musical about the love generation, a powerful antiwar musical, in it's time. Now Hair is dated, the metaphors seem passe, and even in our current state (God Bless President Bush, nobody else will) the make love not war metaphor is lost. BUT, people still line up to see it. Not to say Hair isn't good, hell it's a lot of fun, but what drives the piece, what makes people come to see it, with high hopes? Nudity - at least that's why I went to see it. The audience waits with baited breath for the trousers to drop and the bodies to writhe. It's not shameful (those of you out there shaking your heads, and calling me a pervert, ask yourself, if it doesn't thrill you just a bit to see all that exposed flesh? Yeah, that's what I thought. Whose the pervert now?), it's exhilarating.
Show number two (as far as this blog goes). Recently on the West End a show about horse sex, and a certain naked teen celebrity made a resounding splash, a splash big enough to make a wave large enough, to ride to New York. Daniel Radcliffe, of Harry Potter fame, bared all for his art, in the revival of Peter Schaeffer's Equus. Now, I won't argue that Schaeffer is talented (if I could hone that kind of skill, well, let's just say I'd be writing my way onto the stage of the Shubert Theatre), and the play is wonderful, but what really caused all those people to see the shows once more? To relive their childhood angst? To step back in time, when theatre was about character? I think not. I mean yes a show as moving and as powerful as Equus is reason enough, and I would go see it, regardless of who was in it, but the real driving power of it's success lies in the crotch of a naked young man. (I can feel the fires in some of your eyes burning from here, for any hate mail please see my first blog.) The nudity of such a prominent teen figure created a surge of controversy, and controversy sells tickets - out on a limb I go, again, recall Spring Awakening: children having sex on stage, curse words thrown, controversial material sells in our modern age. And also, I have seen the shots from Equus, the uncensored ones, and I'm still going, not just for the scandal, but because I love the show (so nah nah ne nah to all you people who are vilifying me).
Drum roll please...
Show number three is... Love Kills. Aha, I hear you say, now he gets to the stuff I really care about, the festival.
Yes, here is my spoiler for you guys: FULL FRONTAL in Love Kills, and am I excited about it? Well, hell yes. Again, I feel like I have to say this every time I get excited about cheap thrills, I'm excited about the material as well. In case you don't know, Love Kills is the story of America's first teen spree killers, the story was the basis for Oliver Stone's movie Natural Born Killers, and it has full frontal.
Where am I going with this?

Kiddo, here's the thing: SEX SELLS!!!!! We live in a day and age where the general American public is not shocked by much, even the prospect of nudity on stage isn't that new (as we have learned from above). I'm wondering where the theatre world is heading. I'm an advocate for the golden age of theatre when everything taboo was tricky and the writing as well as the production were smart and witty about where and how they would talk about touchy issues. Spring Awakening, Rent, Hair, all groundbreaking shows, in a medium where there are no boundaries, but the question still remains: is it better that we can come right out and say, "Hey I'm twelve, Mama, and if I wanna boff my fifteen year old boyfriend, who are you to say no!" American teens are turning to theatre now, more than they ever have before, and it's time that theatre be held accountable. (Age sets me apart from this generation, as much as it sets my parents apart from me). I'm all for freedom to say what you want and how, but are we now experiencing a wave of theatre that is merely shocking us because they can, or because there is something serious to say? When the shock value serves to move the plot along or to be a punctuation for your statement, go for, but if we're just doing it to do it, then it seems to be pointless.

I'm not saying that these shows don't use their shock to make a point, but I am using them as a way of making my point. All of the aforementioned shows can work without the nudity (I'm not sure about Love Kills, I'll let you know when I see it, but I think it goes for that show as well), and if they can work without, does it mean that the nudity is superfluous? Does it mean that the shock is just the shock? Or does it mean that we are thrill seeking people, out for the most tantalizing morsel we can get our hands on?
The answer to these questions are in you. I have officially bounced the ball into your court, do with it as you please, kiddo. Until later, I'll be seeing you around, maybe at the shows, maybe traipsing up Broadway in just my nickers (hey, it works for the Naked Cowboy).

It's Campy, It's Gay... It's Fifties B Horror; or Why Movies to Musical Work and Don't!

A growing trend - well, it's more than growing, it's sprouted wings, and flying circles over Times Square - of turning movies into musicals, is inescapable. Like so many trends it has it's pros and cons, meaning, shows like Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Hairspray, and the upcoming 9 to 5, are this genre's modern day hallmarks. But, like all things we are given abysmal failures like High Fidelity or - some might crucify me for placing these two shows together, but I'm gonna do it, address your hate mail to John R DeLamar c/o Broadway Bullet - Carrie. So, the trend begs the question: WHY? Why do we keep churning out musicals based on movies, whether they be hits or whether they be cult classics (the forth coming Cry Baby)? Why do we feel that any movie we see is translatable to the stage? And, why do some work, while others just crash and burn?
I think I might have found the answer, in Roy Aria's Rehearsal Studios in the Times Square Arts Center, The Brain from Planet X. All right, I haven't seen the whole production (but with some luck and some canoodling with the right people, maybe), but the little bit of the rehearsal that I caught, answered the questions I had been asking myself about movies transferring to the stage. Of course, I did have my doubts when I heard that the cult B Horror movie of the same title was being penned into a stage musical, don't get me wrong, yet the show - it seems from the rehearsal - like the movie, is a surprise of camp and fun. So here is why I think the show answered my questions and is a pleasant surprise:

WHY DO WE KEEP DOING IT?

We keep making movies into musicals because (and this was something I knew before going into the rehearsal) the title of the movie will draw crowds. People in the city for only a few days will be more prone to go to a show that has the title Legally Blonde than a show called Curtains, as sad as that may seem, it's the truth - no offense to Blonde, love the show. And even movies like The Brain from Planet X and Cry Baby have an underground cult following, sometimes larger and longer lasting than mainstream films. So the answer to this, musicals based on movies make money, and money is key in show BUSINESS.

WHY DO FEEL ANY MOVIE WILL TRANSLATE?

This is a more simplistic answer: It's a trend. Like all things trendy - fashion, literature, films - what works once, will most definitely work. This is not so true, sadly, but producers and creative talents alike seem to think that it is. Just because a movie has a following, or you stick big name talent in your show, does not mean your marquee will read phenomenal success.

WHY DO SOME WORK AND SOME DON'T?

Allow me to rant - if you feel I have been, then just bare with me, it's almost over. The reason that some movie to musical transfers work is because you can't take yourself to seriously. I think this applies for all theatre. Think of a movie to musical that worked commercially (I'll give you a moment to pick one, then we'll discuss)...
...Got your's. Good, keep it in mind as we go on. I'm going to address Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, one of the better transfers. The reason that this show works is because simply, it embraces the silliness of itself. The creative team behind the show knows that they are putting on a musical. They know they aren't going to be the original film, they have no intentions of repeating Steve Martin and Michael Caine. And that's the key to their success. The show is more of an homage to the movie as opposed to an attempt to make the movie work on stage - which it does in it's own rite. When they had this in place, the idea that it was camp, fun, and not too serious, add in the talent pool and it all came together.
Now, I want you to think of a movie to musical that didn't work. (Take your time)
(No rush, really)
All, right I'm taking Carrie, they had a run of, oh, about, a day. Why? Think about it, dealing with the show you picked. Why would a show based on such an amazing film, bomb at the theatre box office? Because, the creative team forgot to embrace the fact that they were not making the infamous De Palma film, they were making a campy musical. The camp is what would have saved the show, had the creative team gone in that direction. Yes, the fans of the original film and book would have been angry, but sometimes you have to sacrifice to make a buck or two. As a fan of both, book and film, as long as the camp had been done with a loving hand I would have smiled through, knowing that it was with respect that the team was disrespecting the tormented teen.
One more thought on this before we leave this question (and I take leave to see a friend of mine bare all in Hair). It may seem that I am saying that comedy is the only way to make a movie to musical work. Not true. Look at Grey Gardens, a brilliant show, that is far from the musical comedy, BUT it is campy. The show takes everything seriously, but with reverence to the real life Bouviers, camps the hell out of the production - albeit the Bouvier Beales were campy enough for fifty Broadway houses.
So how does all this relate to Brain from Planet X? Simple enough. The deal with Brain... is it is campy, it embraces the campiness that is accidentally inherent in the movie. It's gay, and I mean really gay. Go see the show and you'll know what I mean. And, most of all the team never takes themselves too seriously. It's all about a good time: for the players and the audience. It's what all movie to musicals should be, a fun romp down camp lane. I mean really, if I wanted to see the movie I would head over to Blockbuster and check the bitch out. If I want to be entertained so much I might wet myself - sorry, it's just sometimes funny is just that funny - I go to see a musical version of a classic. So keep it light, keep it bright, (thanks Mel for this) keep it GAY!
I promise next time I'll be shorter of breath, maybe, until then have fun kiddo, and make sure you check out the New York Musical Theatre Festival, see you there.