Preface: This Blog is part of an educational series that I'm providing free of charge to all theatre goers in need of it. If you feel you are well versed in the above mentioned topic, then skip this blog (I'm sorry I got you all excited and brought you here, but at least I stopped you before you went any further, and ended up hating me). If on the other hand you are not well versed, or just minimally versed then read on. Thank You and have a great day....
Seeing as though the modern day theatre is belonging more and more to the general public, and the consumate theatre goer - the ones who know all the rules and adhere to them vehemently - are being outnumbered, I feel a lesson in the rules of engagement is needed. I only say this because in the last three shows I attended there was a frightening lack of etiquette. It could have to do with the people coming to see the production or just that the production itself lent to that kind of environment, who knows really. (And no I will not disclose the shows names of the shows - thecolorpurplehairbroadwayonbroadwayrent - what kind of a person do you think I am.) The thing is, the majority of audiences coming to the theatre now have never really been in a Broadway house, let alone, I think, been into a live performance. With the opening of NYMF, I wanted to put this lesson together, in the hopes that audiences would be well rounded, and those who needed it, attuned to the workings of live performance, when going to the NYMF shows.
So, Kiddo, here we go. Class is now in session.
LESSON ONE: Curtain is at 8, Where Were You?
The most basic idea is being prompt. Would you be late to your Grandmother's 95 birthday party? No (because Grandma wouldn't put up with it), so why be late to the theatre? It's easy enough to schedule a time to leave to get somewhere. Be early if you have to, that's fine, there are a lot of great cafes and souvenir shops around Broadway theatres to entertain you while you wait. If by chance the trains are running a little late or if there is traffic holding you up, be prepared to be sat late, and let's all just be okay with that. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people three rows behind me complaining (bitching and moaning, as my mother would say) about having to wait to be seated. Slink into the theatre, people, the production is on stage not row A of the orchestra.
LESSON TWO: Ms.LuPone You Have a Call in the Mezzanine.
In this wonderfully technological age we live, everyone is accesible at all times and in all places. This is wonderful if say you are in a car crash, lost in a strange city, or caught in an avalanche, but really is it absolutely vital that you be reached during "Wheels of a Dream"? I thought not. Not only is the thumping bass of your favorite pop song counter to the events happening on stage, but it's just plain annoying! Your life can go on hold for two hours (unless your a doctor on call, and if your on call, what the hell are you doing at the theatre?!), your friends will understand believe me, and you will be happier for just letting go of the outside and enjoying what you paid a hundred dollars for.
LESSON THREE: "You Shaw is ugly!", "You Shaw is Ugly!"
With the popular musical comes the popular song and musical. When a show is doing well many of the people seeing it are seeing it for the umpteenth time, and they know the show pretty well. Well, bully for you! The rest of the audience did not pay to hear you sing or spout lines (for a hundred dollars a pop, your line delivery should be tony worthy, but I highly doubt that it will be), so for the good of all people bit your tongue. I know it's hard not to sing along with your favorite showtune, but resign yourself to tapping your feet, and if you need to sing head down to Marie's Crisis and sing along with Mr. Jim Allen (I love it, but they also paid me for the plug -just kidding - maybe). Or, here's another option, bring a friend along, and squeeze their hand before you open your mouth, they'll stop you from being bitten by the singing bug.
LESSON FOUR: Yes, that's Laura Bell Bundy in the Wings, But, Wow, People are Onstage!
Being star struck is an admirable thing. Seeing Broadway performers become stars is wonderful, an accomplishment they deserve. The thing is, waiting with baited breath for your favorite star, AND pointing them out, waiting in the wings, not a good thing to do. The joy of theatre is seeing you favorite performer live, but the best part of that event is seeing them take the stage, and being totally surprised and giving them that recognition when it's time. Also, factor rude into the equation.
RECESS:
I'd like to take a moment to say that all of these lessons are based around the fact that every topic they touch on is rude to the people around you. When going to live performance, or anything outside of your house, is that you are affecting other people. You are not in a secluded bubble when seeing a performance, remember that.
You are not in a secluded bubble. (Sorry, it bares repeating)
One more time? Good, you got it.
LESSON FIVE: There's Singing, but that Doesn't Make it a Concert
At the conclusion of any show, I think, it's imperative to show your appreciation for the performers on stage. Stand up, guys, give 'em a hand, give a little whoop, but refrain from becoming a raving, insane, star struck crazy. We all get a little star struck, but let's try to act like the civilized people we are (especially since we are talking about a civilized art form - if not refined, as it used to be). Waving and throwing yourselves on the stage at a performers feet, isn't really the bets idea, they are amazing talents, but not worshipfully so. I understand being excited about seeing a certain performer, but let's not freak them out as they come out to thank you for coming. This maybe petty, but from what I have seen over the last few months it needs to be said.
LESSON SIX: This Production has Been Rated DBK: Don't Bring the Kids
Broadway is not under a rating program (a wonderful breath of fresh air) which allows the for more freedom for both the performers and the audience. That being said, be advised before you trek the family to see a show. It boggles my mind to see people ranging from twelve to sixteen in the Nederlander Theatre watching Rent (my mother would have plotz, had I said at twelve let's go see this show, and when we got there it was all about AIDS, sex, Bohemia, squatting, and jobless artists. I mean plotz!), but they come, in droves. There are certain shows that I think children should see, that they should be welcomed to, and then there are those shows that I want to take my Playbill and wallup the parents of these kids. Be considerate of the patrons around you. Just because your kids like the music, doesn't mean they will be able to sit for three hours, quietly, and enjoy what's happening around them.
THE WRAP UP: It's Time for Your After School Snack... Almost
Think, kiddo, think before you go to the theatre. Hell, think while you're at the theatre. Remember what we learned in school (for those of us who didn't study theatre, remember what I've said here). Theatre is one of the last great dying, sacred art forms, let's keep it that way. Not every show is for everybody, but respect is the key to it. When people bust their tushies for you, give them the respect they deserve, they are there for you, but you also are there for them, as everyone else in the audience.
Here are the cookies and milk I promised, they might have a bite, but after a hard day at school, it's what you deserve, and it's my way of saying I still love you, just sometimes love is hard. Until next time, kiddo, play cool and remember never yell fire in a crowded theatre.
Seeing as though the modern day theatre is belonging more and more to the general public, and the consumate theatre goer - the ones who know all the rules and adhere to them vehemently - are being outnumbered, I feel a lesson in the rules of engagement is needed. I only say this because in the last three shows I attended there was a frightening lack of etiquette. It could have to do with the people coming to see the production or just that the production itself lent to that kind of environment, who knows really. (And no I will not disclose the shows names of the shows - thecolorpurplehairbroadwayonbroadwayrent - what kind of a person do you think I am.) The thing is, the majority of audiences coming to the theatre now have never really been in a Broadway house, let alone, I think, been into a live performance. With the opening of NYMF, I wanted to put this lesson together, in the hopes that audiences would be well rounded, and those who needed it, attuned to the workings of live performance, when going to the NYMF shows.
So, Kiddo, here we go. Class is now in session.
LESSON ONE: Curtain is at 8, Where Were You?
The most basic idea is being prompt. Would you be late to your Grandmother's 95 birthday party? No (because Grandma wouldn't put up with it), so why be late to the theatre? It's easy enough to schedule a time to leave to get somewhere. Be early if you have to, that's fine, there are a lot of great cafes and souvenir shops around Broadway theatres to entertain you while you wait. If by chance the trains are running a little late or if there is traffic holding you up, be prepared to be sat late, and let's all just be okay with that. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people three rows behind me complaining (bitching and moaning, as my mother would say) about having to wait to be seated. Slink into the theatre, people, the production is on stage not row A of the orchestra.
LESSON TWO: Ms.LuPone You Have a Call in the Mezzanine.
In this wonderfully technological age we live, everyone is accesible at all times and in all places. This is wonderful if say you are in a car crash, lost in a strange city, or caught in an avalanche, but really is it absolutely vital that you be reached during "Wheels of a Dream"? I thought not. Not only is the thumping bass of your favorite pop song counter to the events happening on stage, but it's just plain annoying! Your life can go on hold for two hours (unless your a doctor on call, and if your on call, what the hell are you doing at the theatre?!), your friends will understand believe me, and you will be happier for just letting go of the outside and enjoying what you paid a hundred dollars for.
LESSON THREE: "You Shaw is ugly!", "You Shaw is Ugly!"
With the popular musical comes the popular song and musical. When a show is doing well many of the people seeing it are seeing it for the umpteenth time, and they know the show pretty well. Well, bully for you! The rest of the audience did not pay to hear you sing or spout lines (for a hundred dollars a pop, your line delivery should be tony worthy, but I highly doubt that it will be), so for the good of all people bit your tongue. I know it's hard not to sing along with your favorite showtune, but resign yourself to tapping your feet, and if you need to sing head down to Marie's Crisis and sing along with Mr. Jim Allen (I love it, but they also paid me for the plug -just kidding - maybe). Or, here's another option, bring a friend along, and squeeze their hand before you open your mouth, they'll stop you from being bitten by the singing bug.
LESSON FOUR: Yes, that's Laura Bell Bundy in the Wings, But, Wow, People are Onstage!
Being star struck is an admirable thing. Seeing Broadway performers become stars is wonderful, an accomplishment they deserve. The thing is, waiting with baited breath for your favorite star, AND pointing them out, waiting in the wings, not a good thing to do. The joy of theatre is seeing you favorite performer live, but the best part of that event is seeing them take the stage, and being totally surprised and giving them that recognition when it's time. Also, factor rude into the equation.
RECESS:
I'd like to take a moment to say that all of these lessons are based around the fact that every topic they touch on is rude to the people around you. When going to live performance, or anything outside of your house, is that you are affecting other people. You are not in a secluded bubble when seeing a performance, remember that.
You are not in a secluded bubble. (Sorry, it bares repeating)
One more time? Good, you got it.
LESSON FIVE: There's Singing, but that Doesn't Make it a Concert
At the conclusion of any show, I think, it's imperative to show your appreciation for the performers on stage. Stand up, guys, give 'em a hand, give a little whoop, but refrain from becoming a raving, insane, star struck crazy. We all get a little star struck, but let's try to act like the civilized people we are (especially since we are talking about a civilized art form - if not refined, as it used to be). Waving and throwing yourselves on the stage at a performers feet, isn't really the bets idea, they are amazing talents, but not worshipfully so. I understand being excited about seeing a certain performer, but let's not freak them out as they come out to thank you for coming. This maybe petty, but from what I have seen over the last few months it needs to be said.
LESSON SIX: This Production has Been Rated DBK: Don't Bring the Kids
Broadway is not under a rating program (a wonderful breath of fresh air) which allows the for more freedom for both the performers and the audience. That being said, be advised before you trek the family to see a show. It boggles my mind to see people ranging from twelve to sixteen in the Nederlander Theatre watching Rent (my mother would have plotz, had I said at twelve let's go see this show, and when we got there it was all about AIDS, sex, Bohemia, squatting, and jobless artists. I mean plotz!), but they come, in droves. There are certain shows that I think children should see, that they should be welcomed to, and then there are those shows that I want to take my Playbill and wallup the parents of these kids. Be considerate of the patrons around you. Just because your kids like the music, doesn't mean they will be able to sit for three hours, quietly, and enjoy what's happening around them.
THE WRAP UP: It's Time for Your After School Snack... Almost
Think, kiddo, think before you go to the theatre. Hell, think while you're at the theatre. Remember what we learned in school (for those of us who didn't study theatre, remember what I've said here). Theatre is one of the last great dying, sacred art forms, let's keep it that way. Not every show is for everybody, but respect is the key to it. When people bust their tushies for you, give them the respect they deserve, they are there for you, but you also are there for them, as everyone else in the audience.
Here are the cookies and milk I promised, they might have a bite, but after a hard day at school, it's what you deserve, and it's my way of saying I still love you, just sometimes love is hard. Until next time, kiddo, play cool and remember never yell fire in a crowded theatre.
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